Elijah Mikaelson vs The Demon Barber of Bourbon Street
by sofia313
Summary: No one messes with Elijah's hair…


**Okay, this is the part of the same one-shot series than Kol Mikaelson vs. a puppy and Klaus Mikaelson vs. the hippies, so this isn't meant to be taken too seriously :D**

* * *

Elijah Mikaelson had never considered himself as a vain person. Yes, he liked his tailored suits, why wouldn't he when they made him look awesome, kind of like a sexy gangster/bank teller/accountant. And yes, he did enjoy his polished leather shoes, his ironed silk pajamas, his satin boxers and his occasional manicures just as much as the next guy, but that didn't make him vain, that made him a modern man who wanted to look his best in every occasion, whether it was chopping off the heads of his enemies, making sarcastic comments to people who were too stupid to even know that they were being insulted or giving scolding yet endlessly patient fatherly speeches.

There however was one thing about his appearance that Elijah valued more than anything else. His hair. He had gorgeous, "I want to sink my fingers in those" kind of hair and he knew it, he could have been in a freaking L'Oreal commercial. Yes, everything had been fine until this morning. He had been brushing his hair in front of a mirror, as usually, and noticed something that had made him to question his eyesight.

In the middle of his perfect dark brown locks there had been a grey hair. A grey hair! That should have been impossible, but there it had been, mocking his pride and joy. Naturally he had been very upset, but he had always been the person who could deal with a crisis, so he had immediately made an appointment to see a barber. Unfortunately it seemed now when he was looking at his reflection in the mirror that he had chosen a wrong barber.

"My hair is pink," he stated, his voice held no emotion.

"Yeah," the young barber, or hairstylist as he wanted to be called, replied. "Sorry, dude, my bad."

The young man himself had a bright blue Iroquois and plenty of piercings on his face.

"But you can like totally pull that off, great new look."

"Uh huh."

The young man nodded while chewing his gum.

"Totally. And tell you what, I'll give you a discount and a free piercing wherever you want. I would recommend maybe a lip piercing, that would like totally look cool on you, dude."

"Uh huh."

"Yeah. And I'm like totally sorry, I was out partying last night and I smoked a little too much… you know. Who would have thought that can affect your ability to see colors? Crazy, right?"

"Yes."

The young man kept chewing his gum and observing Elijah's hair.

"But we're cool, right, dude?"

Very slowly Elijah stood up and turned to look at him.

"No, we are not 'cool'."

"But dude…"

Elijah grabbed the young man by the neck and slammed him up against the wall.

"Now you will listen to me very carefully," he growled. "You will fix my hair or I will make you eat yours. Is that clear?"

"Sure, dude, chill. I can like totally fix your hair; we'll do that the first thing tomorrow morning."

"What?" Elijah snapped. "No, you will do that now!"

"I can't dude, I don't have the right color. But I can make you blonde if you want…"

"And I can make you a head shorter!"

"Okay, dude, I got you. Can you like come back tomorrow? I think I need to take a nap now, I can like see three of you."

Elijah had to use all his self-control for not to rip the young "hairstylist" in pieces, but somehow he managed to toss the boy on the floor and march out. He needed to get home and find a competent barber. At least things couldn't possibly get worse. Unfortunately he was wrong, there seemed to be a battle going on the courtyard, Niklaus, Rebekah, Marcel and Hayley were fighting against Mikael, Esther, Finn and Kol. Oh great.

"Enough!" Elijah shouted. Everyone turned to look at him, the fighting stopped immediately. No one said anything; they all stared at him with their mouth open. Kol was the one who burst into laughter first, Niklaus right after him. Soon they were all laughing so hard that they couldn't even stand.

"Dear Lord…" Mikael chuckled, wrapping his arms around his belly.

Elijah crossed his arm over his chest and glared at them all.

"Very mature."

They were still laughing when he marched to his room and slammed the door shut behind him. Lousy barber. Elijah should have just made him to eat his stupid blue hair.


End file.
